It just got real!
Can you imagine drawing a blank at the only moment you had to change your legacy? Building a legacy isn’t a one-time thing. It takes hard work every day. You will see results when you do it for yourself.
I was up in both sets with three match points and lost them. I blew them all. I did all the right things at the time, but I missed one thing. Courage. I played not to miss and not to win at that moment. I worked hard to get there, but I needed to close. I should have thought of a second plan, but I drew a blank. I looked around for wisdom, but couldn't find any. Flashbacks came, the crowd was against me.
Now I’m used to that, but I wasn’t used to be absent from my own body. I thought ahead. I did everything I was supposed to do. It was like I wanted to win too much. Peace and calmness were far from me. I didn’t have either.
Walking off the court, I didn’t have any gas in the tank, but it wasn’t only that. Coming off the court, I knew I needed to be fitter and faster. I knew I needed more repetition. I knew I needed to be way better.
I’ve always wanted a master team behind me in my corner. I’ve been blessed to have many travels with me this year. But I needed me to be with me that day.
I finished the match so angry and sad. Not only was I disappointed in myself. I didn’t know what to do or how to face it. I cried every moment after. The only time I wasn’t crying was when I was eating. I ate twice after that and once I barely could eat.
I wanted to do it again. I hated everything and everyone at that moment. At this point, my emotions ran away. I know I have to get over it, but I’m not ready yet. I don’t know how I’m going to recover, but I know the vulnerability helps. As many hateful people they are in the world, they're great people supporting you. The hate mail you receive after your match is preposterous, but we are building a legacy.
No one ever told me it was easy. The people who even told me have never done it. Going through this, I see it's worth it.